God Damn it you little Prick!

I know it’s been a while but today was a big day full of bullshit!

OMG!!! I hope your kids don’t have respiratory and/or health problems because Donald Trump just made it a lot easier for Big Oil, Gas, and Coal to poison our air… Heads up America he doesn’t give a SHIT about you.

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Now I understand that the agreement was that all the countries got together to say hey we are all in agreement that we need to do something to prevent further climate change. And I understand that maybe some countries haven’t done such a great job at that. Sure sure. But That doesn’t mean we get to just completely pull out and and start building more mines and factories and rigs. That is literally the worst thing we can do!

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To me (and I think most of the world) the Paris Climate Agreement is not about money which is what Donald Trump is making it out to be. He thinks the agreement is bad for for our economy but the problem is not the money, the problem is Climate change! If we continue to do nothing we are destroying this habitable planet we live on! Now if we destroy the earth and make it so that we can no longer breath because the air is so toxic, feed ourselves because the soil filled with chemicals that prevent plants to grow, or stay hydrated because the water is poisoned then what do we do? NOTHING there is nothing we can do after that! The answer at that point is that we all die! We must take responsibility to help preserve what little we have!

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Donald Fuck Face Trump is the biggest con man EVER and every thing he says is a Lie! Him pulling the United States out of the agreement is purely about money! And not in a way that he is putting it in the american people’s pocket…. nope… Sorry to burst you little Conservative Bubble. This is him loading up his fat cat buddies wallets with your money while shoving shit down your throat! If you don’t see that you are a blind ignorant moron. He doesn’t care about us! He cares about being rich. He keeps crying “Fake News” and “Liberal Media”. He wants you to think that he knows best when in reality he knows nothing… Literally!

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He doesn’t understand the consequences of his actions. He thinks that what he is doing reflects what the people want or need. But then ignores the Marches, strikes, and calls that protest what he is doing chalking us up to just a minority. a small group of “Unfair” people who are picking on poor Mr Trump… We are not the Minority! This is the job he wanted, and now that he is in office he is only playing by his own rules, ‘Fuck the Constitution! Fuck the People! Fuck the Environment! Fuck it all! I’m Mr President and you will all do as I say now shut up and sit down…’ No thank you.

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At this point he has made it very clear he can’t be trusted with the american people’s well being. So we all need to step up and do our parts in helping to save our planet. And to the other countries in the world, Please do not think that what this madman does actually represents what we want. He is completely out of touch with what the majority of our country believes in and fights for. He is a selfish little prick and doesn’t deserve one ounce of respect!

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Just a normal night out at the bar…

I was at a bar with my mom and step dad last weekend, and a guy I went to high school with came up and asked if I wanted to play pool. So we played a bit and I lost because I suck. But that’s no big shock I legit suck at pool.

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We were having fun reminiscing about high school, catching up, and whatever then he said.  “So not to sound misogynistic, but a pretty girl like you must have a lot of things handed to you right?  Like guys just want to give you everything. What’s that like?” I told him I’ve never received anything I didn’t earn myself and I don’t need any man. I told him I’m one of those crazy feminists you hear about. And Fuck that sexist noise.

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And through out the whole night he just kept going on and on, “You’re just really pretty. It’s gotta be easy for you because you’re so pretty. But your just so pretty”…

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WTF! Is my face the only thing that matters!? I don’t think so! Then he proceeded to give me his number… For one Fuck you after all this nonsense. For two I told you twice during the night that I’m a Lesbian but you were to drunk to understand… Ugh I’m so sick of men I can’t even stand it…

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Evil ass holes… This is a Rant FYI

Today my cousin got this emailed invoice for a new bed she bought her son.

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I am seriously fuming over this!

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People are always asking me why I’m so mad, depressed, and stressed all the time. Why I’m taking everything that is going on politically so seriously/personally. This is why! These things are happening everywhere and it is not okay! It’s despicable! I don’t even have words to express how sick it makes me! To do something so hateful and evil to anyone period let alone to strangers you’ve never met is the most fucked up bullshit I’ve ever seen! And to do it on an official document from the place you work! Fuck you Nazi Pricks, you are the legit scum of the earth!

THIS IS MADNESS AND IT NEEDS TO STOP! Get the fuck over your misguided self! How is there ever a time when you think. Yeah you know what I’m gonna write this on here and send it out because Fuck them I hate them! No Fuck you! How would you like it if some stranger wrote something so hateful and threatening to you and your family! Use you god damn brain! Develop some compassion! Treat others the way you want to be treated! Everyone is just trying to survive in this god awful fucked world we live in maybe keep that in mind!

 

Climate Change is real.

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It make me kinda sick… Everyone keeps saying. “What a beautiful day right?” and I always say, “Sure the weather is nice and all, and trust me no one hates the cold and snow more than me, but it’s also super scary and disgusting, because this is not normal and this is not okay! This is Climate Change!”

We should not have all that many days above 60 in Denver in February and we had 15 DAYS! 15 that were over 60 and 9 Days over 50!!! This is legit madness! I should not be able to go outside without my full winter getup on during the first 3 months of the year. Yet my winter coat has been rolling around in my trunk since the first week of February! This is Fucking Climate Change People! This is Global Warming! This is not a Drill!!! This is Not a hoax! The shit is hitting the fan and we have very little time to fix it. Get informed people don’t be ignorant! Look around you and you will see. We are killing our home and environment and if we keep this up, sure the Earth itself will still be here but we wont be because the earth will no longer be able to nourish and protect us…

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Women of Comedy Part 1

OMG I have so many emotions right now! Originally this was going to be about the double standard between male and female comedians, but I can’t even begin to wrap my head around a subject so big. So instead lets just talk about the amazing funny ladies that inspire me every day and have helped shaped my sarcastic ass.

CNN has a new documentary series The History of Comedy. The second episode that aired 02/16/2017 is entitled The Funnier Sex. Which is entirely about the women of comedy. It was totally amazing! I Love Women, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE Funny Ladies! The episode talks mostly about the struggles women have had to overcome in the dominantly masculine “Boys Club” of the comedy world. From Phyllis Diller, to “the Girls” of SNL, to Wanda Sykes. It was everything my little comedic feminist heart could ask for, and it brought up so many important points about the ridiculous uphill battle that women have had to take on.

I suppose we should start with my first fangirl Lady loves. Barbara Eden, Elizabeth Montgomery, and Mary Tyler Moore. When I was a wee lass I’d say no more than 10 year old I would wake up at the ass crack of dawn (about 4 AM) every morning in order to get into the bathroom before the other 6 people that lived with us to get ready for school. But even more so I wanted to watch my shows. Every morning there would be reruns of The Dick Van Dyke Show, Mary Tyler Moore Show, I Dream of Jeannie, and Bewitched. Back then I couldn’t understand why at the time I was obsessed over shows that aired over 20 years before I was born. I was addicted!

Looking back on it now I understand a lot more as to why I was so in Love with these women but it took me over 20 year to put the pieces together (as it turns out it’s partly because I’m a big old lesbian) But more so these were shows that showcased Women! Girls that I could relate to, look up to, funny women that made me laugh. It’s kind of hard to imagine today because in my opinion women run the comedic world now. But when these shows were on in the 60’s and 70’s, and even in the 90’s when I was growing up women weren’t supposed to be funny on their own. They were supposed to set up the joke so the man could give the punch line, or they were simply meant to be the bud (butt?) of the joke. Women were supposed to be beautiful not funny. Seen but not heard if you will.

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 I Dream of Jeannie was my first obsession in this long line of never ending obsessions.  Looking back on it now (like many shows you grow up on) it’s not as magical as I remember it being. It actually cater more towards the Male counterparts of Larry Hagman and Bill Daily. The whole premise of the show is extremely sexist but it was the 60’s so it’s no big surprise. Major Nelson finds a bottle on a desert island which contains an attractive female genie named Jeannie. Because he found her bottle she is now to be his servant. Jeannie is usually a total ignorant air head with not a clue as to what is going on, or what the of consequences her actions are going to be  for Major Nelson. The one redeeming quality of the shows sexist undertone is that Major Nelson doesn’t want Jeannie to be his servant or to wait on him hand and foot. As the show goes on they fall in love and it’s all very cute. Barbara Eden’s Light and bubbly character is very charming and sweet but it does very little for the progress of women’s independence. It actually does the exact opposite, but Barbara Eden is so delightful she makes the show so much better! She has a very strong premise and without her the show would have been intolerable. Over all it is a very fun and goofy kind of sitcom, but it really doesn’t have a lot of substance. One of my favorite little tid bits is that on I Dream of Jeannie the censors wouldn’t allow for Barbara Eden’s belly button to be shown because it was considered “indecent” and “sexual” which I find laughable now.

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Bewitched on the other hand has a much stronger feminist feel. Elizabeth Montgomery was without a doubt the Star of the show, and without her it would have been a total bust. She was funny, smart, sexy, and witty. The fact that the show had to replace actor Dick York with Dick Sargant as Darrin mid series and didn’t miss a beat really proves how strong she was. Samantha is a typical american girl who falls in love with a typical red blooded american boy (First episode anyone?). But she isn’t so typical. She just happens to be a witch! Let the shenanigans begin! Elizabeth was so charming and charismatic the audience can’t help but be Bewitched by her (Oh lord stop me now). She had amazing timing and wonderful expressions that helped drive the jokes home. She didn’t always do many jokes herself leaving that up to a wonderful ensemble comedic cast but her reactions to the insanity that was the characters lives is was made her so funny. Again it was the 60’s and there is a lot of rather sexist things going on. For instance Samantha is a simple housewife. Taking care of the kids, making sure dinner is on the table when Darrin gets home,  and cleaning the house. But what was brilliant about this show is that they didn’t allow the character to be defined as just a housewife. When Darrin was an ass, she didn’t put up with it. He didn’t like the dinner she made, he would have to fix himself something else. One episode It Should have Happen to a Dog has really stuck with me to this day. One of Darrin’s clients is a total Dog. Hitting on Sam making pass after pass, grabbing her and so on. When she tells him to stop but he doesn’t she turns him into the dog he is. Darrin is furious with her because it could result in him losing the account. Samantha becomes peeved with Darrin because he cares more about his client then how she was being treated. By the end of the episode she turns him back into a human and when Darrin notices how the client is treating her he calls him out and stands up for his lady at the risk of losing his job because he loves Samantha. To this day it is one of my Favorite Episodes. It shows the ugliness of the way men treat women, as if we are here only for their enjoyment. It also shows a women has a right to stand up for herself when she is being treated disrespectfully.

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And then there is Mary Tyler Moore. Mary probably has had the biggest impact on my life out the three women at least when it comes to Mary Richards of the Mary Tyler Moore show. She was an independent single business woman living on her own! Honestly when it comes to my own life I like to think I am most like Mary Richards out of the three characters. Mary had a wonderful drawl in her voice that could really land a good joke.She was a physical person and although she didn’t do a lot of slap stick she could give a physical element to the comedy that is very discreet. But mostly the Mary Tyler Moore Show tackled issues in a way that no other show could or had up to that point. This was simply because she was a woman. What better way is there to make fun of men and the way they treat women or poke fun at the history of how women are portrayed than to be a woman and call bull shit. Here is Mary Richards an “old maid” freshly broken up with her fiance moving to the city indirectly searching for a purpose. No apologizes just Mary doing her own thing. Being a Kind and tender person while not taking any crap. She can be a very sensitive character while being super strong and independent. She would go toe to toe with all the boys usually in a subtle, polite, yet powerful way. And the secondary Female Cast members where wonderful too! Rhoda the big mouth feisty best friend played by Valerie Harper another excellent funny lady who can hold her own and did on her own Spin off Rhoda.  And lets not forgetting the legendary talents of Betty White, Georgia Engel, and Cloris Leachman. All with their very own Comedic brilliance that sparkled on this show. It really helped change a lot for the way women in comedy were seen. These weren’t just women doing overly female jokes or doing jokes written for men they were doing their own thing.  They were telling funny jokes women would understand yet men could also laugh at.

So Much has changed in the world of comedy and I have changed as well. These are just the three women that made me laugh as a kid, and open my life to so many other funny woman. They helped shape me and my sense of humor and have helped define what I find funny as well as help me find the person I want to be. I am no Jeannie wanting nothing more than to please her man. I am no Samantha content to raise a family, But I am a Mary Richards working hard to discover myself and find happiness.

There will be more articles one the funny women who have changed my life which will include:

Madeline Kahn, Ginger Rogers, Carrie Fisher, Jane Curtin, Lily Tomlin, Tina Fey, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Gilda Radner, Kate McKinnon, Carol Burnett, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Sally Field, Julianne Moore, Laraine Newman,  Lucille Ball, Jane Krakowski, Megan Mullally and so many more!

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The Resistance Calendar!

 

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Awesome a one stop shop to keeping tabs on ways to protest The Predator and Chief!

The Resistance Calendar

This is such a great resource, I already had RSVPd to the ones in my area but it’s great to keep an eye on anything new that might come up. Thank you Michael Moore for keeping us Organized! That is going to be one of the things that makes us successful in this fight!

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Choosing to ignore our voices, doesn’t mean we aren’t speaking.

No one has called to complain? What are you on crack?

This piece of shit, bold orange faced liar is so full of crap I can’t even wrap my head around it. I can’t understand a person or rather a group of people being so selfish they can completely ignore a major issue like this. To pretend ‘hey it’s no big deal, I haven’t heard anything complaints’ is despicable.

For an ordinary person to be this ignorant is a disgrace. But to come from the Predator and Chief is an embarrassment for our whole country. This looks so bad on all of us, and it doesn’t just effect us here in the united states. It effects how the world perceives us. I just hope the rest of the world is patient with us. This mad man lost the Popular vote and the majority of the county is not happy with this clown either.

How can we trust a man that so blatantly ignores the literal cries of the people. The city of Seattle has boycotted  Wells Fargo in protest of the DAPL (also they are a bunch of money stealing ass hats). But I suppose these protests are just perceived as an annoying fly buzzing around tiny hand’s big head . All this ass face cares about is the dollar signs but not in the way some blind conservatives think. He isn’t think about how much theoretical money this might make for the United States and its people. He is think about how much money this can put into his friends and families pockets.

This man is a swindler and it is going to be the american people that will end up paying in the long run. Not only out of our pockets but out of our mouths. Climate change is a REAL Problem and Water is becoming scarce. If we taint the healthy water supply we have then we have no one to blame but our selves.  Allowing big oil and big business to violate the land and water with the great risk of an oil leak or rupture is unacceptable, selfish, and outrageous!

Don’t let this man fool you. People are still speaking out against the Pipelines. Over a thousand people turned out the first weekend of February in L.A alone to protest the decisions to revive the pipelines. Even if we can’t be heard by the Predator and Chief it doesn’t mean you can’t hear us.

Don’t let monsters make decisions for you. These pipelines don’t bode well with most and if it gives you a bad taste in your mouth like it does us. Speak up, Ask Questions, Donate. But don’t pretend there isn’t a problem.

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Bill Nye Saves The World!!!

OMG I need this so bad right now! Why must we wait?

I feel like this could be a very important show! Plus it’s on Netflix so it’ll reach a broader audience. Unlike The Years of Living Dangerously which is a great show that is SO important! But because it is on National Geographic it’s basically preaching to the people that already know how fucked we are, and not the uneducated people that need to learn we are all so Screwed if we don’t start making a difference like Yesterday.

Bill Nye Is such an amazing guy! He made learning science fun when I was a kid. Last year when they released the first season of Bill Nye the Science Guy on Netflix I binge watched the shit out of it! I have been so pumped to watch this new show! It think the world needs a little more science and Facts. No more of these alternative facts, fake news, or misleading media. It’s time to educate! Science is not a conspiracy and it is about time the world came out of the dark ages! It’s time to get curious again!

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Most Generation X- Millennials are so keen on learning truths and wanting to preserve a better more prosperous future! Science and technology is the way to get there and if we can continue to educate ourselves, our children, families, and friends we might be able to save the world. No more of this Jesus Take the wheel nonsense. No almighty being is gonna save our sorry asses we gotta do the hard work ourselves!

With this dumb fuck Betsy DeVos as Secretary of Education we have to take matters into our own hands.

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Also Watch The Years of Living Dangerously, Cosmos (Both old and New), Bill Nyes Global Meltdown, and Before the Flood. These show are a good place to start.

We could have been on top of the world…

I am forever heart broken over this election. She is such an amazing person! Sure she has her flaws no one can deny that. But she would have made an amazing president and you can bet your ass none of this bull shit would be going on under her. She knows the responsibility that come with the Job, she understands the consequences of her actions, and she wants to help the american people.

Trump preached “draining the swamp” and that “Hillary is in wall streets pocket”. I hate to say I told you so but… Big business, corrupt, egotistical, moron, sensitive, baby, piece of shit, monster, ass face, Predator and Chief Trump is the one that is in wall streets Pockets… And actually I don’t hate saying it… Fuck you Suckers, TOLD YOU SO!

Now I don’t want to stir the pot… (To much) But seriously Hillary is so poised and professional. I’m sure she has her Selina Meyer Moments. I think that comes with the territory.

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 You have to kiss a lot of asses you really don’t want to, and bend on a lot of things you hold valuable to get anywhere in politics. But she doesn’t act like a little toddler that is having a huge fit. For instance this nonsense about him throwing a fit about a women portraying a man on SNL! Seriously your the FUCKING PRESIDENT NOW! STOP YOUR FUCKING CRYING AND DO YOU GOD DAMN JOB!

(Also side note if you have not watched the 2/04/2017 SNL It is  a must see. Probably one of the best episodes they have ever done.)

And BTW all of us “Professional Protesters” are out there marching to inform you that the majority of this country you are sworn to protect and represent are not happy with your decisions. We are not all out there crying because out candidate lost, we are upset that you are such a fucking selfish moron! You want the Oval office act like you deserve it! Listen to the people that’s your fucking job!

As I was writing this it was announced that Betsy Dumb Ass DeVos was confirmed as Education Secretary in a tie breaking vote made by homophob Vice Bitch Mike Pence… You can expect another Rant to follow soon to address this mess…

Also sorry for the language but seriously what the fuck is going on? How is this real life?

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